Unfulfilled expectations, loneliness, and insecurity can lead to resentments and isolation. Self-pity is an all too familiar feeling for survivors. Maya Angelou wrote, “Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.” When we sit in self-pity we are surrounded by darkness and powerlessness.

It takes self-caring actions to pull ourselves out of the downward spiral of self-pity. We have the right to not only ask for help from others, but also to ask for help from ourselves.


  • Place your hand over your heart,.
  • Breathe into your heart.
  • Notice your chest expand as you inhale.
  • Ask yourself, “What do you need? What can I do for you?”
  • Write down the answers.
  • Schedule in your calendar fulfilling 2 of the requests.

Affirmation: I am capable of caring for my needs.

Journal Cue: Write about how you can tell when you’ve slipped into self-pity. What helps you to get out of it and pivot your focus towards self-care?

© Amanda Lee


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