Have you ever wished you could go back and give your past self bits of sage advice? What would you tell yourself?
1. Someone else’s feelings don’t dictate your reality. Feelings aren’t facts. Abusive people, who have the need to gain power by putting others down, will try to make you believe that their opinions of you are the truth. They’re not. You have the right to exist, regardless of what someone else tries to make you believe.
2. Everything changes regardless of whether it’s good or bad. Holding onto experiences can tear you apart. It’s like asking the past to hold your arms, and the future to hold you feet. They keep walking in the opposite direction. Get peace in the present, it’s the only place where you’ll find it.
3. No romantic relationship will save you. Believing that the only thing that can save you is the person you’re in a relationship with undermines your capacity to trust yourself. Be your own superhero. Save Yourself. You deserve to be admired, by you.
4. Always be there for yourself. Do you ever feel like you can’t trust or rely on yourself? You can. You have to try it to believe it. Wherever you are, there you are – Can be a positive statement. Nurture you.
5. Lying by omission is still lying. Hiding the truth doesn’t change reality. If you can’t accept yourself for who and what you are, you’re probably also working hard to convince other people that you’re someone other than who you really are. You deserve to live an honorable life. Try being honest, try telling the truth. An honest life is a lighter life. Feel burden free, on the inside.
6. Don’t be a flake. How can you cultivate close relationships with others if they can’t rely on you? “Suit up and show up.” Honor your commitments, it inspires others to do the same. Your presence matters.
7. Emails, voicemails & texts aren’t appropriate for emergencies or to communicate bad news. Stop it. Don’t do it, even if you’re scared, lazy, or mad. Talk directly to someone, face to face or by voice, if it’s important. We’re all adults here, let’s set the bar on communication.
8. You’re never trapped. The belief that you are trapped can undermine every major decision you make. Fear is a prison constructed from bars of false beliefs. You are capable of asking for help. Leave any situation when it does not serve your potential. Keep yourself safe, you’re an amazing piece of amazingness!
9. Let someone know you love them TODAY. You don’t have forever to let someone know how important they are to you. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Death is a natural part of our life cycle, so is growth. You never know when someone will pass on. Take this moment, you have been given, to love the people who mean the most to you.
10. Hoping, wishing & worrying will not change someone or a situation. Worrying is like trying to get to your dream destination in a rocking chair – you won’t get anywhere & it wastes a lot of energy. It takes present action to create change. Focus on yourself – What can you do right now?
11. Comparison & gossip won’t improve anything. Using comparison and gossip to build yourself up is like smoking crack to become gorgeous: 1. It’s not going to work. 2. You’ll become addicted to it. 3. The kinds of people who are willing to partake with you will only drag you down. You have the power to build others up. Be that person. Be the one!
12. Don’t waste thoughts or time on people who aren’t encouraging you. Negative people who aren’t focused on their own healing and growth are like energy vampires. They try to live off of draining others of their energy and inspiration. They will attempt to make you believe that you are too broken to fly. Beware and choose well. Your life is too precious to waste it on those who don’t appreciate you.
13. No one can read your mind. Stop trying to force people to mind-meld with you; if they’re not Vulcan, it’s not going to work out. When you need help you have to communicate your needs. Most conflicts arise from creating expectations, not communicating them, and then arguing based on the resulting resentments. People feel good when they know how they can best be there for you; give them that chance.
14. Gratitude is the key that opens the door to a better life. You don’t have to feel grateful to have gratitude. When walking in the darkness of despair the light of gratitude can be a beacon to light your way. Whatever plant you water grows: it can either be the thorn bush of negativity or the fruit tree of gratitude.
15. Learn to enjoy sleeping alone. Too many choices are made out of the fear of being alone. The desire to tether ourselves to someone else in order to feel at home or feel safe is so strong that if we continually do it over and over it becomes increasingly difficult to feel safe when we’re alone. Build your own nest, find comfort in being in your own company.
16. Play dress up every chance you get. Life is full of moments where you’ll feel like you have to “look the part” to pass. Be creative, be free, experiment with your clothes, your look, your expression. It is incredibly inspiring to see a free and fabulous person feeling their gorgeosity fully. The more you love yourself and live in your brilliant light, the more you exude permission for others to do the same!
© Amanda Lee